2017
Last night as Mike and I made the futile attempt to put Grayson to bed, he and I discussed the past year. Our conversation played out like this:
Me: This was a hard year, wasn't it?
Mike: It was. But that's really all we have...hard years.
That gave me some pause. We discussed that a little bit further...no only did we have a hard year, a lot of people close to us also had hard years too. There was a lot of sickness, a lot of loss of loved ones, family meltdowns, people serving overseas and away from their families, huge life changes...
For us personally we dealt with Grayson's diagnosis, his mystery sickness that comes out of nowhere, the fact that he is still mostly non-verbal, dealing with insurance companies that won't cover his services, a possible chemical pregnancy, issues at work, Easton's concerning temper, my anxiety, friends and family stepping out of our lives inexplicably...
It's been...a year.
Of course we have the one great joy this year, and that is our Jovie. (She has a name! Jovie also means JOY!)
Someone I follow on Instagram put it perfectly - that there are some years that we know God is with us, but that it's hard to see Him in the details of our everyday and other years that we see Him in every little thing. I feel like many of the years we have had in the years we have been married have been years where it's difficult to see God there, but we know He is working. We have seen it in Mike's career, in the births of our children, in our move home.
We battle a lot of comparisons though - in watching our friends get to do things we may never get the opportunity to do. It seems to us - perhaps wrongly - that everyone is doing better than we are or that we will ever dream to be.
Last night I was reading over my old New Years resolutions, and I realized that I completely blew this last year. I didn't follow through on anything really, and that was so discouraging to me.
But this morning, I woke up and I felt hopeful for the new year ahead of us. I have two huge things that I will be praying for this year - and I am not going to share them now, but eventually I will.
Watch out, 2017...we're coming for you.
Me: This was a hard year, wasn't it?
Mike: It was. But that's really all we have...hard years.
That gave me some pause. We discussed that a little bit further...no only did we have a hard year, a lot of people close to us also had hard years too. There was a lot of sickness, a lot of loss of loved ones, family meltdowns, people serving overseas and away from their families, huge life changes...
For us personally we dealt with Grayson's diagnosis, his mystery sickness that comes out of nowhere, the fact that he is still mostly non-verbal, dealing with insurance companies that won't cover his services, a possible chemical pregnancy, issues at work, Easton's concerning temper, my anxiety, friends and family stepping out of our lives inexplicably...
It's been...a year.
Of course we have the one great joy this year, and that is our Jovie. (She has a name! Jovie also means JOY!)
Someone I follow on Instagram put it perfectly - that there are some years that we know God is with us, but that it's hard to see Him in the details of our everyday and other years that we see Him in every little thing. I feel like many of the years we have had in the years we have been married have been years where it's difficult to see God there, but we know He is working. We have seen it in Mike's career, in the births of our children, in our move home.
We battle a lot of comparisons though - in watching our friends get to do things we may never get the opportunity to do. It seems to us - perhaps wrongly - that everyone is doing better than we are or that we will ever dream to be.
Last night I was reading over my old New Years resolutions, and I realized that I completely blew this last year. I didn't follow through on anything really, and that was so discouraging to me.
But this morning, I woke up and I felt hopeful for the new year ahead of us. I have two huge things that I will be praying for this year - and I am not going to share them now, but eventually I will.
Watch out, 2017...we're coming for you.
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