Our Every Day

Last week, Grayson started first grade! He is in a multiple-handicap unit in the next school district over, as our local district can’t, won’t, doesn’t want to, can’t afford to  (you pick) serve students like Grayson. Thankfully, the school he attends has a terrific MH staff - his teacher who he should have until fourth grade - truly cares about Grayson so much! All of the aides in her class - as well as Grayson’s one on one - are really wonderful people. It has worked out so nicely for him, and I am so thankful he has the opportunity to attend such a terrific school. Gray only made it four days before being sent home sick which is on par with last year. This time he spread his sickness to his siblings. Easton started school yesterday but has the sniffles today so I kept him home as his congestion  kept him up all night. Academically he was ready for kinder but not socially, so we extended his preschool career one more year :)  Last year This year he ...

As I have mentioned in my last few posts, this summer has been a doozy. (How many more times can I bring it up?) I feel like a lot of things have been cloudy, blurry, fuzzy - but then today everything came sharply into focus for the first time in a long time. I will spare the details, but I went out of my comfort zone and sent people who I know Have connections to the special needs community private messages about something I felt was very concerning that they were posting about mental health on Facebook. In it there are a list of behaviors - kicking nurses and doctors, eating plants, escaping, licking glass, padded walls - and then you tag whoever first shows up when you type in a name. It’s “hysterical” apparently  I pointed out to them -  people who I know care for Grayson - that he fits into many of these categories as far as behaviors go. And that it is not hysterical to those who live with these behaviors. It went over about as well as you can expect, but I am prou...

I’ve never had many dealings with jealousy. I am not very competitive - it’s never been anything I’ve even thought about. It used to be that I was perfectly happy living my life while others lived theirs. Sometimes something would happen to a friend that was wonderful, and I would think - Oh I wish that happened to us! How nice for them! I would be genuinely happy for them and move on to the next thought.  Not anymore. Every single day is so hard, that I literally don’t like anyone anymore. I am not sure when this shift happened - probably in the past year since this has been the hardest year yet of our autism journey. That’s probably not completely true - I do like most people - but heavens - am I jealous! I find it difficult to be genuinely happy for a good number of people - though if I say I am happy for you or that something is wonderful - I MEAN IT.  For example: Your husband works a normal work week with the weekend off? Jealous. Oh. And it’s not a ...

Last year, when Mike's schedule changed to second shift, my hatred for Saturdays became a thing. I know - that's so odd, because for so many the weekend is the best. But when your husband works crazy hours and doesn't have traditional weekends off, Saturdays (and Sundays) can be difficult. In the winter it was hard because it was too cold to go outside, and when Mike walked out the door on those dreaded Saturdays, all hell broke loose. Invariably, someone threw up, a wall would get busted through, meltdowns would occur, someone's diaper would need changed like a million times, fights would break out, snacks would be demanded. And managing the autistic behaviors. The spinning, the banging, throwing everything, contaminating food, the self-injuries... And it was all on me. It is STILL all on me. It was exhausting, and I cried my way through many Saturdays. Then school ended. And I was looking down three months of every day being Saturday. It has been hard. We hav...