Hyster-Sisters Unite

If you are uncomfortable with "woman talk" then exit right on out of here.

OR

You could stay and learn just a little bit about what a woman in your life is ultimately facing so you can better understand her.

As I have covered before, in the spring of last year I was diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome. It's a syndrome that causes a higher chance of colorectal and uterine cancers, among other systems in the body.

I had initially had genetic testing for BRCA - the gene that causes ovarian cancer - but that came back negative. Since there is cancer in my family,  the testing agency ran a few additional panels and a couple weeks later - after being told all clear - I got a phone call saying I had tested positive for PMS2 - Lynch Syndrome.

I could not breathe as I did all the research. It scared the living daylights out of me.  It still does. I had a meeting with a genetic counselor and she answered all my questions. The recommendation was to have a radical hysterectomy.

At the time I was pretty sick. I look back at myself in pictures and I can tell just how awful I felt. I was anemic, losing my hair and on iron infusions at a pretty regular interval. I managed to burn through two ice machines because I could not get my ice chip eating under control. There were days I couldn't get Grayson to therapy because I could not function. It's hard enough raising two children with special needs and their fiesty little sister but to also be feeling so awful...I don't know how I did it, but I did. With the Grace of God helping me no doubt.

In August, the surgery date was set. I told my doctor I was worried I would wake up with a mustache. She assured me that would not happen. I was told I would probably go on hormone replacement therapy but it would be awhile before all of the residual hormones had made their way through my system.

Approximately four days after my surgery, I had crazy hot flashes and night sweats. 

And ever since, I have been a mess. 

I feel very alone. Not one of my friends is going through menopause right now. I am not even going through it - I am already through it. I didn't go through it the way nature intended - nice and slow taking 10 years at least - but at least any changes would be gradual that way and not hitting me all at once.

In short, I feel weird.

Why isn't this talked about?

Things like...

- Weight gain. If you have seen me lately, you know I have gained weight since the beginning of the year. I have been getting in my steps and staying active - but its clearly a hormone-related issue as I try to adjust to another HRT method. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

- Going hand in hand with weight gain - water retention! Wearing shoes has been an issue for me!

- This process has aged me. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror or in pictures.

- My kids know way too much about this. They have been telling everyone that I had my baby parts removed. Do you know how embarrassing that is?!

- We know of three babies just born within the last six weeks - one to a very very good friend of mine who has been through all the same life milestones as me at around the same times - except this one. The other day Easton said to me, "So when you had surgery, did you just decide that three kids was enough? And then you had the fourth kid removed?" AND THEN YOU HAD THE FOURTH KID REMOVED?!?! What. In. The. World. Who knows what he has been telling his teachers at school. Jovie asks for a sister once or twice a week and gets mad when I tell her no.

- Hearing my friends talk about their cycles, and thinking - Oh I miss that. Actually wait. Nope. To not have to worry about the irregularity and the sickness and the hardship - all because of dang Eve - that actually is quite a perk that I am loving.

All in all, I do feel a lot better physically, but mentally and emotionally it's been a little rough going. 

So there. I have talked about it. I have probably alienated a good number of you, and for that I am sorry.

All of this to say - if you are going through this, you are not alone.

To those of you who aren't going through this, just extend a little grace to the "hyster-sisters" you know. They are part of a club they maybe didn't want to join so soon but they had no choice.