Embracing Our Quirky Christmas

Christmas in my home is not at all like I imagined it would be. 

It's unfair, I suppose, to compare the Christmases of my childhood that were filled to the brim with family, friends, love, celebration and a lot of traveling. And some serious tissue paper fights. And old home videos where I announced that every gift was just what I always wanted which my dad claims to be his favorite Christmas memory. 

I don't even know what I imagined IT would be like - but how IT has turned out is the complete opposite of IT- whatever IT is.

I thought of this the other day as I was clipping bodily fluids out of my Christmas tree limbs. 

Yes. You read that correctly.

I just didn't think I would be doing things like that. 

I thought I would be decorating the Christmas tree with my kids, but instead our tree doesn't have ornaments. What I have had out has already been pitched across the room and chewed on so I have gotten rid of it.

I thought maybe I could create a little magic by placing just one strand of twinkling lights into my tree so that it would sparkle just a little bit like it did for that one lady I follow on Instagram. Instead it looks more like a cell phone tower. Maybe it's blinking out SOS to anyone who drives past our house and sees it in the window - in that case, then it's pretty spot on.

Christmas is just different for us but I think it's okay. As the mom and chief Christmas magic maker, I try to shrug off the images I see of the Pinterest-perfect families and decorations - it's not all pretend Facebook families, it's actual people I know. Comparison is the thief of joy after all.

Instead, I try to embrace the-whatever-the-heck we have going on.

Like going to Lowe's to see the Christmas inflatables. Then buying the Christmas inflatables. Then setting up Christmas inflatables in my house. Then listening to the collective jet engine noise of all those Christmas inflatables in every room of my home for an entire month plus. I've embraced it. (Reluctantly.)

Forcing the kids to watch Elf - especially Jovie who complains about it even though she's named after Jovie from Elf. I've embraced it. (With a side of protest from my kids.)

Up until last year, Christmas music caused full-on meltdowns. Until this year, we have never - not once gotten past Bruce Springsteen saying the wind is whipping down the boardwalk (my favorite part of my favorite childhood Christmas song) without a total meltdown. Thankfully Christmas music is more welcomed in our home this year! I will happily embrace this change!

And the gifts. Finding gifts for these kids can be a challenge. Last year Easton changed what he wanted two days before Christmas and he was so disappointed by what he got, even though all he had wanted previously was a Spongebob inflatable. Instead, he wanted an inflatable Gemmy Christmas Projector that costs no less than 500 dollars. I know. I checked. We have no room or the money for an inflatable Gemmy Christmas Projector, but I still looked.

This year he wants Wonder Pets toys. He cannot watch one episode of Wonder Pets without being consumed by anxiety, but that's what he wants - all the Wonder Pets toys. Wonder Pets hasn't been on in over ten years. Do you know how hard its been to find Wonder Pets toys?? Thank heavens for friends, Ebay and Mercari.  I've embraced his quirkiness.

Grayson is a completely different story. He has not ever acknowledged Christmas. I am having a harder time embracing that but maybe I am getting closer.

Last year he opened gifts with us really cheering him on and he showed a little interest, but not what you think when you think kid on Christmas morning. It has honestly been one of the most difficult parts of autism. This year we got him a bunch of sensory gifts and one toy that is toddler-aged that he has shown interest in at therapy. 

It's difficult to buy things like that for our 9 year old. But we do it because we embrace him and who he is. 

And our Jove. She's a little bit easier of course, but she has her own quirks that cause me to shake my head. As long as she gets to bake with her dad, play with her brother and get some toys, she will be a happy camper. She's clearly embraced our Christmases as she doesn't know any better.

What will this Christmas look like? I don't know. Right now it looks like sadly decorated house and sometimes a sad and anxious mom, but regardless the show must go on. We will keep working towards building traditions - even if they are somewhat quirky - for our family. 

But that's okay. I am embracing it. Or trying to anyway.

Merry Christmas to you and yours <3