Having a Two Year Old

If you looked in my Google Search history over the last two weeks, you would find the following:

- Two year old still not talking
- Two year old will not eat
- Two year old throws food everywhere
- Two year old is throwing up
- Two year old has double ear infections
- Two year old slams head on crib
- Two year is not sleeping through the night anymore
- Two years old and sleep regression
- Two year old has excessive ear wax
- Two year old cannot hear?!?!
- Will my two year old ever be potty trained?!?!
- WHY DOES MY TWO YEAR OLD HATE ME?!

Okay just one of these things is an exaggeration. I will let you guess which one it is.

Is this typical two year old behavior?

Because everyone is telling me that it is.

But I am not completely convinced. I see two year olds who actually appear to be listening to their parents. Do they always do what their parents ask? No. But what if your son NEVER does what you ask him to do? What if you try to explain to your son a thousand times that you can't throw food on the floor, and yet he still throws his bread with such force it bounces off the refrigerator?

The other day Mike and I were watching Arrow on Netflix. One of the characters was talking about a crucible - and how you either survive it or it kills you. I looked at Mike and said, "These kids are my crucible, Mike! Either I will survive this - or they will kill me!" Each day I find myself aging. I look in the mirror, and I am an old woman staring back at me. Sometimes I feel like my littles are ganging up on me - like they are in little baby cahoots.

Okay, I have to chuckle at that, but I am kind of suspicious of them! ;)

Right now, I am trying so hard to keep up with everything and do the best possible job, but I feel like I am failing. Every single minute of every single day. We have really great days where I can sigh happily and tell Mike, "We had a good day." These days happen rarely anymore, but when they do? Oh it is so wonderful!

I always cringe when people tie things up in a neat little bundle - like, "Oh it is SO worth it though!" If you are one of those people, and you are thinking that as you are reading this - you are not in my shoes right now. I feel like that is like the Sunday School answer to things. Just acknowledge that this is hard.

Not being able to communicate with my two year old is pretty much the toughest trial we are going through right now. Feeling like he cannot understand and/or cannot hear (our newest theory) when I correct him is heart-wrenching. Despite everything we are doing to help him, I feel like we are backsliding. That our progress has all but stalled.

He is a challenge. A beautiful sweet and wonderful challenge who makes me cry every single day with his hitting, scratching and kicking. On the flip side - with his sweet smile and huge arms around the neck hugs. With his sweet little giggle. But this is hard.

Do you feel this way? Have you ever felt this way? Are you raising a challenging kid? Could this apply to you?! If so -  you are NOT ALONE.

This is hard.

I