Motherhood

I've been a mom of two for a whole six weeks now.

This makes me a subject matter expert when it comes to parenting two boys under the age of 2.

I'm laughing as I write this because YEAH RIGHT.

I have no idea what I am doing, but I am doing it anyway.

Seriously now. If my kids are fed and wearing clean diapers (not necessarily fully dressed) throughout the day, then I consider that particular day a great success.

When Grayson only throws a minimum of two tantrums a day (complete with kicking feet and screeching at the top of his lungs), then I consider that a good day. If Easton takes a nap that lasts longer than a half hour, I want to break out the party hats, balloons and cupcakes to celebrate.

I remember visiting a good friend of mine just a few months after Grayson was born. Being a new mom was seriously kicking my butt, and I watched in awe as she sweetly and firmly parented her two kids. I asked her how she did it, and she said something that I will always remember:

"Sometimes one of them will just have to cry."

She didn't mean ignoring your crying kids while you sit on the couch and watch a full episode of Friends. She meant that sometimes you have to see to the needs of one before you can see to the needs of the other.

I have taken these words to heart lately as I have tried to get Grayson ready for bed while Easton is crying. Or as I change Easton's diaper and Grayson is pulling at my pant leg crying because he wants to go outside or he wants me to get his milk from the fridge. These words help me to relieve SOME of the mommy guilt I feel - since it is impossible to be in two places at once.

Even with two parents at home - while Mike was on baby leave - taking care of two kids is hard. And I am sure my friends with more than two kids are probably smiling at this because they have been through it. They know if I ever have a third kid, I will think having two kids was such a breeze! ;)

Anyway, I so worried about what it would be like for us when Mike went back to third shift. But honestly it hasn't been that bad.

The very first day Mike was at work, the boys and I had a great day.

*Please note: When I say Mike is at work, I actually mean he is upstairs sleeping. He works thirds and is gone after the boys go to bed and is usually home (but not always) before they wake up. After being on thirds for a year, he is moving to seconds and we are excited for the change.*

In fact, we have had a great week. Not every moment was great. I have changed countless diaper blowouts, cleaned baby pee off the wall (okay, watched Mike as HE cleaned baby pee off the wall), picked up crackers ground into the carpet, cleaned up the trail of milk Grayson spilled all down the hallway, calmed a fit-throwing child, listened to a baby scream in his car seat while I am driving and can't get to him, etc.

BUT - All in all, it was a good week.

I am not naïve though. I know not every day or week will be good. Soon our routines will change when Mike's shift does and we will experience a schedule upheaval and a time of rough adjustment to that.

So I am trying to soak in the good moments so I can remember them when the boys aren't behaving and Mike is working OT and my kitchen is a mess and the dog threw up in the family room because those things WILL happen.

I will try to remember tonight where I cooked supper while Mike washed bottles, and we laughed about an inside joke. Grayson danced with his shadow on the kitchen floor and Easton laid in his rock and play just taking it all in.

I will remember when Grayson chased bubbles on the front porch and we waved goodbye to Daddy as he left for work.

I will remember when Easton broke out in smiles as he fell asleep.

Everyone tells me that these years will fly by and to cherish every single moment.

I am desperately trying to.