Baby #2
I haven't written much about Baby #2 - or even talked much about him/her with anyone other than my mom and Mike, because honestly - Grayson consumes pretty much ALL of my thoughts all day and night. Not just my thoughts, but my actions too - I spend most of my time running after him and telling him, "Grayson. NO!" while he climbs on his train table, tackles the dog or slaps his little palms against each and every wall in the house.
That - and this pregnancy has been hard. I'm nearly 17 weeks in, and this is no where as easy as my pregnancy with Grayson. I don't have terrible swelling - yet. But it wouldn't surprise me if that came on because why not. I need to be a little bit more miserable. ;) I am sick quite a bit, and I have lost weight. My doctor assures me the baby is getting what he/she needs and that I will probably catch up with the weight gain sooner than later. But still that is disconcerting to me as I have zero appetite. I force myself to eat most days.
And there is the issue of my heart rate. My pulse has always been fast, but lately it is to the point where it is drowning out the baby's and I have had to have two additional ultrasounds because of that. I've had one EKG already, and after the baby is born I'd like to have an echocardiogram because of the history of heart disease in my family. Better safe than sorry.
I have been feeling very resentful about feeling poorly. I just want to feel like myself again, and to face the next months feeling like this - well, it is daunting to me. Please don't get me wrong - Mike and I are very excited about this baby. But I feel like the every day struggle to just to make it through is getting me down - and that takes my focus off the baby and the other members of my little family.
At our last ultrasound, I studied that tiny little form on the screen. The baby was laying on his/her side, facing my back. As I took in that little spine, I fell more in love and felt quite a connection with this little one. Maybe there is hope for me yet. :)
That - and this pregnancy has been hard. I'm nearly 17 weeks in, and this is no where as easy as my pregnancy with Grayson. I don't have terrible swelling - yet. But it wouldn't surprise me if that came on because why not. I need to be a little bit more miserable. ;) I am sick quite a bit, and I have lost weight. My doctor assures me the baby is getting what he/she needs and that I will probably catch up with the weight gain sooner than later. But still that is disconcerting to me as I have zero appetite. I force myself to eat most days.
And there is the issue of my heart rate. My pulse has always been fast, but lately it is to the point where it is drowning out the baby's and I have had to have two additional ultrasounds because of that. I've had one EKG already, and after the baby is born I'd like to have an echocardiogram because of the history of heart disease in my family. Better safe than sorry.
I have been feeling very resentful about feeling poorly. I just want to feel like myself again, and to face the next months feeling like this - well, it is daunting to me. Please don't get me wrong - Mike and I are very excited about this baby. But I feel like the every day struggle to just to make it through is getting me down - and that takes my focus off the baby and the other members of my little family.
At our last ultrasound, I studied that tiny little form on the screen. The baby was laying on his/her side, facing my back. As I took in that little spine, I fell more in love and felt quite a connection with this little one. Maybe there is hope for me yet. :)
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