Easton, Football Camp and the Autism Spectrum

Today Easton tried football camp. 

This is unprecedented.

A few weeks ago, he became very upset with me when he learned I had yet to sign him up for football camp.

At the time, he didn't watch football or know one thing about it - often confusing it with volleyball or baseball. All he knew is that his school sent a paper home, and every time a paper is sent home for some type of after-school activity, he wants in. Even girls' volleyball camp. 

So after months of negotiating with him and talking through why we can't do a lot of after-school sports, I finally relented. After I talked to the coach running the program, I felt good about Easton attending. I clued in his physical therapist who works with him at school, and she taught him a few things about football in their next session which I think helped him immensely. 

Because time is a foreign concept to Easton, when I picked him up from school today he asked casually what we were going to do with the rest of the day. I said, "Ummm it's football camp day?!" like I haven't been talking about it over and over again for the last week. Oh the autistic brain!

We got him ready after school, making sure he was wearing the appropriate colors as specified. I had him trade out his new tennis shoes for old ones and I filled up his water bottle, knowing all too well he wouldn't be drinking out of it anyway.

As we walked up to the massive group of kids waiting for the camp to start, he slipped his hand out of mine and said, "You don't have to walk me up there okay?" and took off in a mad dash to the group. He checked himself in like a pro and never once looked back.

It made my heart a little sad, but I was proud of him. He's so grown up. So independent in some ways. So willing to try new things. While we watched him practice, he seemed a little lost at first but he was attentive. I told my mom who was with me that I was pretty sure he was masking his autism so he could fit in well with the group. That's a very difficult thing for a person with autism to do. I wish he didn't have to do it, but he feels he does. We had to deal with the dysregulation that caused after the fact, and that was not fun but I knew it was coming.

While I was standing there, feeling half-sick about how it would go for him but also half-hopeful, I thought to myself, So this is what typical families do? Huh. Interesting. 

Nearly all of my friends run all over with their kids taking them to sports or dance or music lessons. They are involved parents, and I love it. But if I am being honest, I have always been jealous of their ability to do that. We have never been able to do that. That we can even do football camp is because of both sets of grandparents helping us out. Without them, Easton wouldn't have had this opportunity. 

As I contemplated all of this, I tried not to focus too much on the fourth-grade boys in the group right in front of me.

It made me think of my fourth-grade boy. Grayson. Who isn't learning football plays. 

Who isn't even in school. He's not even allowed to attend our local school district and we recently had to unenroll him because they are not willing to work with us to provide him the services he so desperately needs. And we are supposed to just be okay with that and understand the school can't provide for his level of disability. He's still a child who needs an education after all.

He's learning important life skills like toilet training and how to say hi to other people and how to move his hands into ready position before he starts a new task and how to communicate what he needs and how hitting isn't the right response to being upset and my phone number for emergencies.

He does not fit in as seamlessly into the group like Easton does. 

It's really difficult straddling these two worlds of autism - these two opposite ends of the spectrum. 

Brothers 18 months apart. Easton who is younger but is now taller than Grayson. They have no relationship outside of Easton begging Grayson not to hit him and occasionally sharing the screen of an iPad. 

Where one child is welcomed because he's not too autistic and his brother isn't welcomed because he is too autistic. 

Probably people are cringing that I wrote that, but it's really the truth. I am sorry if the truth makes you uncomfortable!

Many aspects of this life are not at all what I have prayed for my boys. But maybe someday it will be, though I can't really envision that ever happening. But who am I to try and limit what God can do?

Easton. He had a great first day of camp. I hope he goes back again tomorrow for the second day.
And while I didn't witness it myself, I heard he knocked over a tackling dummy and then flexed his muscles!